A History Of Great Mistakes


The luck of the Irish – pt 8
March 13, 2009, 7:00 am
Filed under: Dublin | Tags: , , , , ,

(Hey there! New to the site? Then you may not have read part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7… Best have a look before reading the below – it’ll make so much more sense if you do!)

As we walked out of the zoo, I left my old opinion of animals in captivity behind me. I had been changed forever.

‘There are some, big cats in particular, that should be caged from birth’ I thought as I rubbed my nose. When the tiger had crashed against the glass, I’d taken a small hit to the face.

Sodding lion” I said, walking back to the bus.

“It was a tiger mate” said Gez, correcting me.

“Whatever” I replied, handing my ticket to the driver.

As we arrived back at the campsite, we were a little stuck for things to do. There was plenty going on in the centre of Dublin, but getting buses and taxis backwards and forwards was getting to be expensive.

Over the past few days, between us we’d managed to spend nearly 80 Euros on transport alone.

“Remind me again why we’re sleeping in a tent?” asked Lewis.

“Because YOU said you had a limited budget” snapped Gez angrily “which, from memory, was somewhere in the region of nothing?

“Yes, well…” said Lewis, backing down slightly.

Gez scowled at him.

Maybe…” I said, cautiously “…we could have a look at rooms in town…? Might be just as cheap as here?”

“…ok.” muttered Gez, turning away to grab something from his bag.

“Speaking of cash…” said Lewis “…it looks like I’ve run out of credit on my phone… Don’t suppose anyone would be willing to lend me their phone for a quick call home…?”

Gez and I both scowled at Lewis.

Thirty minutes later, Lewis gave me back my phone and smiled. “Thanks for that Pete – I’ll give you some cash for it when we get home!”

Not now?” I said, pointedly.

Erm…” said Lewis, squirming slightly and looking away.

“Get the money now mate, I’ve learned this from experience…” said Gez, jumping in.

“Yeah, I think I should ask for that money now…” I continued.

After several assurances of a complete refund upon a return to British soil, I let the matter go, and returned to the more serious business of deciding what to do.

Looking at our wallets, it made sense to give town a miss for the night, and instead grab a few beers and tell stories in the tent.

A few moments later, we remembered that there was a small store along the bus route we’d traveled to the pub on our first night, so we quickly set off to grab some provisions before closing time.

We arrived just in the nick of time to grab enough Murphys and Fosters to stay merry for the rest of the evening. And at just the right time to grab some discounted snacks too.

Some time later, we returned to the campsite, opened a few beers and watched the sun go down in the background.

“It’s a pretty amazing place this isn’t it” I said to the lads.

“Aye” agreed Gez.

“Reminds me of the field” said Lewis, laughing.

I turned to Lewis. “Yes, the field. The field I woke up in. That you left me in.”

Lewis laughed “yeah – that’s the one!”

“…b@$#ard…” I said, taking a swig of Murphys.

“Reminds me of the barmaid…” said Gez from the background.

“Eh?” I responded, puzzled.

“From the pub, the other night” replied Gez, sipping his Fosters.

“Ahhhh… Starting to regret the decision to leave are we?” said Lewis, smirking.

Gez started to pull the label off his bottle. “No” he replied.

“You know, tearing the label off your beer is supposed to be a sign of sexual frustration” I said, stifling a smile, “did you know that?”

“No” said Gez, looking at me. “So what does it mean if you crush your cans and tear up the box they came in?” he asked, staring at the pile of metal and cardboard next to me.

Lewis laughed.

…nothing” I said.

But I knew exactly what it meant.

As I slept that evening, my dreams were invaded by my Thai waitress. And by the stunning girl that had captured my attention on Sunday.

They were both so lovely. And doing such lovely things to each other.

A the sound of thunder came from somewhere in the background. An unexpected bolt of lightning struck in between them and shocked me into consciousness.

Waking up from a happy dream that feels real to you, is never a comfortable sensation.

It’s a little like being ripped from a picture of the life you should be living, only to be thrown into the body of someone you wish you weren’t.

Right then, I wanted to be anyone but me.

As I rubbed my eyes, and thought long and hard about the Thai waitress, I was sure that in another universe somewhere, we were both very happy together.

It was just a pity that I lived in this one, in which we were apart.

‘God, I really need to get laid’ I thought to myself, closing my eyes.

Lewis farted.

I threw my shoe at him again.

“Look lads, I don’t think we should just look around for a room today” I said to Lewis and Gez as we sat in the tent together, chomping on reduced price breakfast sandwiches. “I think we need to pack our stuff up here and go and get ourselves a room somewhere. We need somewhere closer to town…”

Leaning to my right I unzipped the tent entrance.

“…with a window we can open” I said, directing my comment towards Lewis.

As we packed our things up and struggled with the tent, it felt as though our holiday were only just about to begin.

It didn’t take more than half an hour in town to find a cheap hostel (The City Manor) and dump our stuff in a two-bed room. The room wasn’t fantastic, and the shower looked like it had been broken since it was installed, but it was a massive improvement on sleeping in a field.

After we’d unpacked and changed our clothes, Lewis and Gez went off to grab some breakfast, while I made a trip to the barbers…

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