A History Of Great Mistakes

The luck of the Irish – pt 7
March 11, 2009, 11:00 pm
Filed under: Dublin | Tags: , , , , ,

(Bonjour! Ave-e-vu read part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6? No? Then you’d better have a butchers and get yourself upto speed!)

We ducked and dived through the night crowds as I struggled to keep her in sight while holding on to Gez.

“F@£king SPORTS BAR!” shouted Gez at the doormen of a random pub as we walked past.

“And there goes another place we’re not getting into” said Lewis, pushing Gez forward.

In the distance I saw her enter through a well lit doorway.

“Where are we going?” asked Lewis.

“…I want to go back to the Sports Bar…” grumbled Gez.

“Lads – we’re going there” I said, pointing towards Busker’s Bar.

A classy joint - Buskers Bar

A classy joint - Buskers Bar

As we arrived, we took a moment to look at the outside of the pub and peer through the windows to check out the people within.

It was a pretty classy joint. And obvious that they’d recently done it up to make it even classier. Spent a lot of money on it too from what we could see.

Almost as if via a common telepathic understanding, we all checked our wallets.

The object of my desire walked past the window, stopped, turned and looked out into the dark distant Dublin sky.

She didn’t notice me as she looked up, but I noticed how she was looking tired and lonely.

‘I’m going to be the man who makes sure she isn’t tired and lonely anymore’ I told myself, checking my wallet again.

“Right – best behaviour and no more Red Gerwyn” I said to Gez, verbally wagging my finger as we walked towards the door.

The doormen looked at me, and waved me in. ‘Result!’ I thought, mentally high-fiving Lewis as he joined me just inside the doorway. The curly haired girl was finally within my reach.

We turned to look back, and in slow motion watched Gez be denied entry to the third pub in a row. I watched his face slowly mouth ‘YOU FU- –‘ just before we both bolted for the door.

As I woke up the morning after to the sound of more farting from Lewis, I sighed and held my hands over my eyes. It had become pretty obvious that we should just call it a night as we’d dragged Gez away from Buskers’ doors kicking and screaming.

I rubbed my eyes, turned away from the entrance and looked at the contents of Gez’s bag (which was piled up in a corner). Sports tops, shorts, tracksuit bottoms, one pair of jeans and a shirt.

The contents of my bag were no better really. Based on the night before, my idea of shopping first thing had gone from ‘a good idea’ to downright essential.

Lewis farted again in the background.

I threw my shoe at his head.

After a fairly quiet bus ride in (Gez was rather poorly after his Budweiser experience, and unwilling to talk about the previous evening’s events) and a spot of breakfast, we went shopping. A store selling cheap clothing was quickly found, and we set about getting ourselves something reasonable on a 20 Euro budget.

It didn’t take long for me and Gez to find a few decent Hawaiian shirts and a couple of long sleeve t-shirts for relatively nothing, but unfortunately I couldn’t find a passable pair of jeans for similar money. And at the same time, our bling bling shop assistants were making me feel that my footwear was in need of some ‘sprucing up’ (thanks to our muddy campsite).

For the first and only time in my life, I bit the bullet and walked with Lewis and Gez into River Island. Before I knew what had hit my wallet, I’d left with a pair of red jeans and some very comfortable tan leather shoes for somewhere in the region of 120 Euros. The shoes and jeans were pricey – and I had to use my new ‘emergency only‘ credit card to get them both – but man alive did I feel the business when I was trying them on.

‘It’s worth it’ I thought to myself.

As we walked around Dublin we couldn’t help but drift back towards the Temple Bar area to check out the local talent and scout for the evening ahead.

Lewis and Gez didn’t notice me doing it, but every now and then I’d peer through a window to see if my love interest was anywhere to be seen.

Sadly, she wasn’t

But I did catch a glimpse of a tattoo shop, and a barber. I toyed with the idea of getting something small and Celtic to remember Dublin by, but quickly changed my mind when I saw the prices and artwork on offer.

The prices in the barber’s shop were much more reasonable however. I booked an appointment for the following day, and decided to have a think about what I wanted later in the evening.

Dublin Zoo?” said a Japanese tourist to Lewis as I walked out of the barbers.

“Erm… Babylon Zoo?” said Lewis, making a reference completely lost on the Asian gentleman in front of him.

“Dublin Zoo?” repeated the man, pointing to a leaflet with a mini map.

“Dublin Zoo… Dublin Zoo…” responded Lewis, nodding and looking at the map. “Ah – Dublin Zoo” said Lewis, pointing at one side of the map “not Temple Bar” he continued, pointing at a nearby street sign.

“No Dublin Zoo?” said the man, somewhat crestfallen.

“No, no Dublin Zoo” replied Lewis, making a sad face.

“No Dublin Zoo…” said the man, leaving to rejoin his party. “Ahhhh… No Dublin Zoo…” said the crowd as they walked past us.

“Hey lads! Dublin Zoo?” asked Lewis.

“Dublin Zoo.” said Gez.

If only Dublin Zoo were this interesting

If only Dublin Zoo were really this interesting

Dublin Zoo reminded me a lot of the Borth Animalarium.

If you’ve ever been to the Animalarium, you’ll know that a comparison like that isn’t a good thing for Dublin Zoo.

When I was much younger, my mother took me to Dudley Zoo. I was fascinated by the gorillas, meerkats and kangaroos all living together in close proximity.

Looking back on the visit, it conjoured up thoughts of comical conversations between animals, and situations not unlike the plot(s) of the Madagascar films within my four year old brain.

In my nineteen year old brain however, it all looked a bit bleak, more than a little lifeless – and overwhelmingly sad. ‘None of these animals want to be here’ I thought to myself ‘I bet they’ve not even enjoyed themselves since they arrived, being poked and prodded left right and centre…’

I pressed my face up against the glass of the tiger enclosure.

“Poor tiger‘ I thought ‘all alone in this world…” I said to Lewis.

Without warning, the tiger leapt for me with his claws outstretched, and came crashing into the glass I was pressed up against.

“…but that b@$£ard can stay right the f@£k where he is…”

2 Comments so far
Leave a comment


Avez-vous lu… = have you read…? [phonetically: avay-voo loo]

Poor tiger 😦 It must have been so traumatic having a “Pete” pressed up agianst it’s window…

Comment by Rach

:-|… Cheeky little…

Comment by Pete

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